A Place of My Own

This Father’s Day, unless he comes to the hospital, I won’t get to see my daddy.  On Father’s Day children talk about all the memories they have of their fathers and they laugh and give gifts of appreciation.   So, I thought I would use this post to talk about mine. 

I love my daddy.  My daddy is a quiet man.  He is very patient.  So was his daddy.  He is alot like him.  If you know my brother and sister and I, it wasn’t easy for him – we all took after mama – we are all loud.  )  Sorry mama.  He would scoot out to work in the shop; piddling and making things if we got too loud.  He always worked hard to provide for us and he never complained about it.  I bet he hasn’t missed more than a couple of months at the most out of his whole life of working. 

When I read poems about Father’s Day, I read about how daddys picked up their children when they fell and how they are all involved in their lives and how they appreciate trips to the park and how they do all those fatherly squishy things.  My daddy isn’t really the “go to the park” kindof guy.  At least that is not how I remember my daddy growing up.  I’m not saying that as a bad thing.  Yes, I do remember going to the beach as a child and some other things like that, but the things I remember my daddy for, are different kinds of things.  Like, I remember that my daddy taught me how to tie my shoe when I was 5.  We lived in Farmville next to the Carroways.  I remember my daddy walking long distances to work because the car wasn’t working and he knew he needed to work.  I remember my daddy showing me the importance of learning all I could by reading himself – reading everything.  I remember listening to his 8 track tapes of Johnny Cash and to his records on the record player.  I remember my daddy bringing me flowers when I was in an accident in school and had to wear a brace on my neck – four days before prom.  I remember crying in his arms with a young broken heart.  I remember my daddy fixing my car when it broke down and teaching me how to change a tire.  And I am sure there are times when my daddy did things for me that I don’t know about and things I probably never will know about. 

Now I have memories of him spending time with my children and how he loves them so dearly with that same patience he showed me while teaching me to tie that shoe.  I am a horrible daughter.  I live only 20 minutes from my daddy and I don’t see him that often.  I don’t talk to him much.  I take him for granted – something I should NEVER do.  I know I haven’t told him or shown him the gratitude and thanks he deserves. 

Today, Daddy, I want you to know that I love you for all the things you have done for me during my life.  I want you to know that you did a great job being my daddy.  You have always been there when I needed you; even if it was after working all day and you were tired, you have come to my rescue.  You are a great man and I appreciate you for your gentleness, your subtlety, your patience, your kindness, your generosity, and all the other characteristics I am at a loss for words for.  Thank you for loving my children and for loving the greatgrandchild you are about to have.  I promise that I will do my best to be a better daughter to you – one that you deserve.  I hope you can forgive me for being so undeserving of you.  I thank God for you everyday and I hope that we have many more Father’s Days to celebrate.  Happy Father’s Day!  I love you.